Preparing for Life After High School: How to Become More Independent

Brush your teeth. Comb your hair. Study for tomorrow’s test. These are all things that parents, teachers, and other adults have preached to us since childhood. Throughout our lives, we have all likely been guided through daily activities. Whether it was our mothers spooning applesauce into our infant mouths or our preschool teachers singing songs about sharing, our generation has always had their hand held to some extent. The dedication of the key adults in our lives has helped make us the people we are today. If your father had not shown you how to pump air into your bicycle tires, you would probably struggle to put air in the tires of your own car. However, as much as Mom and Dad have done for us, we must realize that we will not always be able to depend on our elders in the real world. This especially applies to those that will soon be off to college. No longer will you hear a familiar, loving voice telling you to wake up when your alarm goes off. You better know for yourself when and where your first lecture is to avoid being late. If you are late, do not expect to get a hug and be told that you are still a good kid. Although you will likely hear this again, learn from your mistakes. You must make changes in order to be prepared for what is to come in life. I am Max Tapper, and I am here to give you, my fellow students, some guidance on how to become an independent, improved version of yourself. 

1. Make Your Own Meals 

Many of us have likely had our lunches packed for us in our primary and elementary school years. For quite some time, we have enjoyed the luxury of having our food already prepared. Lunchables pizza packs and Dippin’ Stix were often the main courses as we all sat together at those round tables. A good number of us also anticipated when the cafeteria served Big Daddy’s pizza on Fridays. When we entered middle school, the cafeteria would still provide students with midday refreshments. However, students would begin to realize that if they were not able to order from the cafeteria, lunch was on them. I maintained the notion of taking whatever my caretaker Baroness gave me to eat. After all, she put hard work into preparing each meal for our family, and it certainly was not cheap to provide for all of us. However, now that college is on the horizon, I realize that I must use my skills in order to stay healthy. In my sophomore year, I would often feel stressed and insecure about my capabilities as an individual. I felt that a major reason for this was that I was not letting myself practice self-advocation. Even though I knew that I needed to start taking household responsibilities into my own hands (especially laundry), I would struggle to make the time to actually do so. Therefore, I would deduce that in order to have independence, I needed to ask for it. I would tell Baro that I wanted to start making my own lunch a few times a week. Baro would agree, and on Sundays the night before school, I would pack my lunch bag with a pretzel kaiser, a bag of Quest protein chips, and a Quakers granola bar. For some time, packing my own lunch gave me a great sense of freedom, which lowered my anxiety and made me feel more capable. However, I could tell that Baro missed making lunch for me, and that she only wanted to help me live a nutritious life. I will admit that a chocolate and peanut butter chip granola bar is not the most wholesome thing to eat on a regular basis. As a junior, I continue to have Baro make my lunch for me, as I know that she has my best interest at heart. However, I often heat up leftovers from Gianni’s or make myself some instant ramen for a weekend midday snack. Simple things like this will help us students develop an understanding of how to provide for ourselves in the real world. Whenever you are not busy on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon, ask your parents if you can make yourself a sandwich or heat up some leftovers. You might be surprised how microwaving some escarole will prepare you for dorm mealtimes. You must also become more accountable for your nutrition since especially under temptation, you are what you eat. 

1. Stay Organized 

The lyrics of everybody everywhere doing their share have likely been preached to us all at some point. However, for quite a few of us, we have seemed to have forgotten how organization ensures our success. Our neglect to this quality has been hiding in plain sight long before we entered high school. Can you count how many times your mother has scolded you for not cleaning your room? Was there ever a time where you voluntarily cleared the table? When we were children, it was expected that we performed actions at the order of our parents and teachers. Doing what our elders say has developed our sense of obedience to those in authority. Amenability is critical to establishing trust and success. Those off to college will need to listen to their professors in order to achieve passing grades to graduate. Within the workforce, you better show up at the time that your employer assigns. However, in order to do any of this, you need to be orderly with how you manage your schedule and belongings. Take a look at your study area or where you choose to do homework. Is it a hassle to locate worksheets once you zip open your backpack? Do you have notebooks that could fall apart at any given moment? If you are faced with any of these issues, then it is high time that you made some changes. Middle school taught me that for each of my core classes, a folder or binder is the key to prevent losing important items. Many of us have interpreted this realization differently, especially since our generation tends to favor things done quickly and easily. However, if you keep all of your subjects in one area, you are bound to have a problem with finding things at some point. Instead of wasting minutes turned hours getting a hold of that Algebra homework, make sure that you keep within a specific binder. For that matter, I strongly encourage you to have distinct materials for each of your different classes. Many of us already understand this, but this does not entail that improvements cannot be made. Open up your Physics notebook. Do you have papers that are stuffed into one of the pocket pages? If this is so, I suggest that you differentiate the intent of each item that you have. I view notebooks in a literal manner: a place to take notes during class. Whenever I am handed worksheets, I place them within a separate folder. That way, I know for certain where my work is located so that I can do it efficiently. If you have an overstuffed notebook and do not have a folder, purchase the latter item as soon as possible. Giving yourself options for where you put your work is a skill that will make or break you long after high school. 

1. Volunteer to Help Your Family and Friends

Many of us value our loved ones to some extent. We all likely want to see our family and friends in confident, healthy positions. Many of us realize that we have the ability to make an impact on the lives of those we hold dear. We can choose to be supportive to help our family and friends cope and achieve goals. There also lies the option to hold ill-will and cause our own relatives and peers distress. I do not see how anyone could be comfortable with doing the latter. Just because we recognize the ability to help our family and friends does not entail that we initiate our aid. Rather, a number of us choose to wait until our peers tell us how we should make a contribution. From my experience, it is far more rewarding to decide for yourself how to help than to rely on the input of others. Imagine if a very close friend of yours was trapped in a burning apartment complex. Picture yourself at the scene of the disaster, with everyone else refusing to even look at the flames. No one is pushing you to approach the complex, but no one is telling you to ignore the situation either. This is where you realize, and so you should, that you need to make your own decision. You have known this person for as long as you can remember. As you witness the deathly blaze refusing vanquishment, you also see the playdates, birthdays, and nights out together flash before your very eyes. Before you can even think, you find yourself rocketing towards the splintering door. As we likely know, the choice to do something or not do something can make all the difference in the world around us. If you chose to blow off one homework assignment, the worst case scenario is that you would receive a zero. However, if you were to repeatedly ignore your personal hygiene, your overall health would decline. In order to be able to help others, you need to help yourself. Make sure that you are in a good state of mind before you offer your assistance, even to those that you know best. You cannot always be certain what your family and friends might need help with, as they may not always communicate this information with you. You also need to know that sometimes, in order to help those closest to you, you might need to hurt them. Consider a time where you saw a family member or friend act or speak in a negligent, unprofessional manner. Think about how other people reacted to this person’s behavior, and how your stance on the situation might have differed. Other people might have shown disdain towards your perspective, especially if you unconditionally defended your family member or friend. However, there comes a time where even those that we love most need what they deserve. I will not go to that party with you. You cannot drive my car anymore. It is not necessarily easy to implement punishments, especially since they may greatly upset your little cousin or childhood acquaintance. However, despite all of the moping and begging, you simply cannot reward bad behavior. By establishing discipline, you will help wayward individuals see the consequences of their actions. You will also help people around you understand that in order to have privileges and other nice things, you need to earn them. 

1. Seek Guidance When You Need It

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Students have probably heard teachers say these three things for some time. It is not a coincidence that as we have been exposed to more challenges, we have experienced more confusion. Verbalizing the need for help has come naturally to some of us. A number of people view questions as a valid way to gain an understanding of their world. Whenever the opportunity arises, they raise their hand to be lended a hand. There are also people who view their capabilities in an arrogant, overestimate manner. These are the kind of people that claim that they can do things by themselves, even when the situation clearly proves otherwise. Those who deny guidance when they need it most tend to struggle in the long run. However, it is not too late for us to learn that we do not have to face life’s challenges alone. Consider a time where you wanted to prove your capabilities to others around you. Maybe someone said something that you found belittling. Maybe you were in a demanding situation. Perhaps you got smug and committed to more than you could handle. One way or another, you likely found that doing it all yourself was a hassle. Other people probably saw you spinning your wheels and offered to help out. Consider how you reacted to the aid of others. On one hand, you might have accepted others helping you, especially if you were under measurable distress. However, you might have denied others’ aid since you continued to overwhelm yourself. Whatever your choice was, you probably found that whenever you have difficulty doing or understanding something, calling someone over can do you wonders. We students are faced with a challenging curriculum, and many of us also have the responsibility of employment as well as their education. Many of us therefore feel the obligation to do as much as possible in a short amount of time. However, when we set unrealistic goals, we often achieve less than we intend. If our achievements do not meet our expectations, anxiety often consumes us. Will I fail the test? Will I miss the due date? Will I have to repeat the course? These thoughts would periodically loom over my head during my freshman and sophomore years. However, in order to avoid these thoughts, it certainly would not hurt to approach those that you know for guidance. For example, you could ask your siblings or parents about how they manage their workload. You will likely find differences between how each family member approaches their specific tasks and deadlines. Always remember, especially when communicating with those closest to you, that there is no one way to be productive. Instead of getting lost in your own world, open up to suggestions that might oppose your current methods. By considering alternative perspectives, it will surprise you how changing your approach to school and your job can benefit your life. 

1. Embrace the Experience at Where You Work

Many of us students have gained an understanding of employment from our parents, relatives, and teachers. Mom needs to work overtime tonight. Dad is constantly on the phone with clients. Your United States History teacher has to attend a board meeting. Despite these observations, we have had limited exposure to what it is like being in the workforce. Since turning sixteen, many of us have only had so much experience providing for and cooperating with customers. Indubitably, there has been some kind of mistake in communication or service. An egg cracked while you were bagging. You forgot to wipe a table down. You did not ask your manager about your hours for next week. Some of us have been more observant of these errors than others, and those who are more attentive tend to take their responsibilities more seriously. However, for those who strongly value the quality of their work, one little slip-up can feel like the end of their career. Will the customers get angry with you? Will your co-workers view you as unprofessional? What will the boss say? Perhaps these things will happen to you, especially if you keep viewing your mistakes in a negative manner. However, through all of the scolding and shame, we must learn these experiences in order to know what to do or say differently in the future. Next time while bagging, make sure that you treat fragile items with care. You do not want to crack an egg a second time, do you? If you consider what you did wrong in the past, you will be more likely to avoid making the same mistakes again. Learning in the workforce is not limited to acknowledging when you are at fault. Through employment, you gain knowledge of skills that are critical to one’s functioning in life, such as organization and time management. Days with longer hours teach you to remain focused and calm under pressure, especially when it is a busy day. If you can remain on task in a sea of customers, chances are you will be able to pay closer attention to your next English lecture. Also, just because it is work does not mean that you have to stare at a computer all day without smiling or laughing. If you are employed in an open environment such as a checkout area, make time for casual interactions with your customers and co-workers. If you have a customer who is wearing something that you find interesting, give them a compliment. You should also try talking with your co-workers to find common ground with them. Maybe one of the cashiers you work with holds the same passion for the media that you do. If you spend time with co-workers that hold similar interests, you will likely develop positive relationships with them. Relationships such as these serve as a reminder that no matter how difficult life can get, you do not have to face it alone.